I've finally shaken off the jet lag, and have braved the cold to go out into the town. It's snowing here in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK. So my husband, Matt doesn't have internet at his flat yet, my powerbook is still under repair so I've looked up what seems to be the only internet cafe in the Sheffield phone book and hiked up to a taxi stand, then took a £5 or $9ish cab ride just to log on for the first time since I've arrived. Where is the free wifi? Where are the open wifi networks?
Matt is at work at the Apple Store at Meadowhall, and I've done the shopping for the bits for our New Year's Eve in the flat, just us, warm and cozy and together, sheltered by the bitter winter's frost here in Sheffield City Centre.
No use for cute shoes or cute clothes here. Just whatever is warmest and most weather resistant. Matt has one of those legendary washer+dryer-in-one units at the flat. It does both. And a towel warmer in the bathroom. These are the things I like. Of course, the #1 thing I like and love and adore, is my husband, Matthew.
I already have a blister on my heel from all the walking. No cable yet at the flat, so I'm confined to the 5 BBC channels. Just at this moment, a bit of sun has broken through the clouds. The first I've seen since I arrived.
To back up, I had a wonderful Christmas, very simple and stress free, with much quality time spent with both sides of our family - singing, playing games, watching movies, cooking and hanging out. The year feels very full, and as I am alone again, at least for a few hours, on New Year's Eve Day, I take the time to do my own private ritual of reflection: a process of archiving and deletion, taking inventory of 2004, and also projection: my future-paced visualizations for 2005 and beyond.
On December 31, 2004 I was alone in my apartment in Toluca Lake, CA, and I went by myself to Beverly Hot Springs, a Korean spa/bathhouse - a natural alkaline mineral hot springs in the middle of Koreatown. Over a 4 hour period of different techniques of quantum incantation, self-hypnosis, TimeLine therapy, reframing, archiving and deletion, meditation, breathing exercises, prayer, self-organization and visualization techniques, I took the full soaked 2004 sponge and wrung it out, I was ruthless with myself in which hang-ups, fears, phobias, limiting beliefs and personal mythos I was going to eschew, I broke myself all the way down, a process of self-immolation through heating, soaking, steaming, drying out, rehydrating, purifying.
Until I was reduced to the essence of me, the source of my inexhaustible fire, my seed of divinity, my infinite Spark, around which I wove myself new garments of belief. In these moments I broke down the hard-core of me, and let my desire sing out across the world. I decided, with all my heart, breath, soul, fire - that this was the year I would let myself be seen, be found, and be loved.
On January 1st, 2005, Matt Kenefick arrived in my INBOX, a message from across the world - the man, the Mate, had read a poem I'd posted in lieu of a profile on my Nerve.com personals site. The most intense intellectual, ether-borne relationship of neural intermingling, map-meshing and divinely inspired connection kicked off a process of recognition and verification through music and word, and evidences of our patternlock filled our love database every day. Until we met in the flesh in March/April 2005, then married in October 2005. It is now December 31st, 2005. I am in Sheffield with the 0ne I called out to, across the world, through the ether and with all the strength of my heart, one year ago.
This year I have forged many wonderful partnerships in growth - clients, friends, colleagues, who inspire and support me. I've become closer to my mother and my family, more than I have been in my entire adult life. Close friends and family have engaged, married, given birth to beautiful babies, engaged in both joyous and sorrowful life transitions, and I am blessed to be connected with such loving, courageous, innovative and generous spirits.
In 2006, my hypnotherapy practice and vocal studio will be housed in a wonderful space in Hollywood, CA, a private space with views of the Griffith Park Observatory and the Hollywood sign. Opportunities, ventures and partnerships abound: for writing e-books, publishing my poetry, writing screenplays, producing a musical/cabaret, vocal performance instruction, recording some of my own music, expanding the breadth and the services of my hypnotherapy practice through further specialized education and training, collaborating on my husband's album, doing some professional blogging, podcasting, hosting workshops, more consulting work, getting some use out of my real estate agent's license. . . more travel! more joy! more love! Our 'Luvmigration' process for Matt's spousal visa should be all tidied up and ready for his importation to the US by June at the latest, with our 'Wedding Re-mix' reception scheduled for October of 2006.
With a full heart, upward views and unstoppable resolve toward abundance, success and the mutual arising, I send warm support and encouragement for your 2006 - a year to Unleash, Unlock and Advance confidently toward your life's goal, passion and purpose.
- Carmen Leilani De Jesus, from Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK